Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Worth 15 bucks for a ticket and some popcorn?



Lindsay Lohan's "I Know Who Killed Me"

Yes.

Why? Because she is very good stripper even without showing any nudity and certainly worth 15 bucks. The directing and writing was a joke, but the strip scenes throughout the movie were certainly worth it. As a straight woman, sitting in a movie theater alone with a business man on his lunch break and a college kid on his summer break, let me go the closest I will ever feel to sitting in a titty bar. I'm too respectable to do that, but too curious to actually totally shun the feeling of doing that.

It certainly felt like I was entering a seedy club, I even got carded by the ticket lady, asking if I was 17 and could enter a rated R movie. I never got carded for a movie in a long time, and getting carded got me thinking, this is the first rated R film that headlined Lindsay Lohan. To go to "Just my Luck" audience to "I Know Who Killed Me" type audience is a big transition that would be hard for anyone to cross, certainly uncrossable with a director, Chris Sivertson, whose first directing credit belongs to "All Cheerleaders Must Die"; and with a writer Jeff Hammond who has no credits to his name at all.

Thankfully to the film there were some well experienced producers including Frank Mancuso Jr. and Sabrina Sipantzi, who I have no doubt were influential in choosing cult favorite actors as secondary characters, including these well-known but never casted actors and actresses:

Jessica Rose, or Lonelygirl15 as she is referred to on youtube. Seeing her in the pic was a breath of fresh air. She had this horrible candor about her in the film, which is great on youtube, horrible on screen, but it was fun to see a cute well-loved cult favorite.

Garcelle Beauvais, also makes an appearance looking not quite as stunning as usual as a sensitive and skeptical FBI agent. She also appears on the cover of Playboy in August.



So all and all, I enjoyed my time at this movie, I rated it one out of five stars, but only because it was terribly bad, not because it wasn't money well spent. As a stripper I would certainly slip three fives consecutively into Miss. Lindsay Lohan's G-string.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Most Important Story of The Year --- Continued

So alot of people are questioning the reliability of MEDIAtakeout's story. I know people makeup a bunch of lies and over-exaggerate, so I headed out with my trusty Google to find out just a little bit more of the story and the big news is?

JESSICA ALBA NOT ONLY WAS IN AMSTERDAM WITH 50 CENT, SHE WAS ALSO IN PARIS, THE CITY OF LOVE WITH 50 CENT


A Rolling Stones reporter was blogging about his oh-so-great-life and mentioned that he skipped attending 50 Cent's concert in Paris, because he was tired and wanted to rest up at the Hemingway bar. There alot of people stopped by and one of them as the night drew on was Jessica Alba. Jessica Alba was definetly in the Netherlands with 50 cent on June 30th, but she was also within the vicinity of 50 cent on July 8th, accourding to his tour dates and the Rolling Stone reporter. Then two weeks later she split from Cash Warren, with Cash thinking there is another guy?? Hmmm....

The following is just gossip, but if they had dinner in the the Netherlands, what stops love-making in Paris?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Most Important Story of The Year

Okay, alot of things have happened in the world of celebrity gossip, that I did not care about much at all actually. Britney Spears appearing fat and crazy; Lindsay Lohan manifesting the definition of cocaine whore; and the Beckhams coming to the United States; basically all a bunch of news not worth reporting twice.

Yet this: this should be reported in bold print and large font:

JESSICA ALBA FINALLY BROKE UP WITH CASH


According to US WEEKLY, one of the most respectable celebrity gossip rags around, reports that Jessica Alba dumped Cash over the phone, and cold-heartedly sent her assistant to throw out all of Cash's things. Cash Warren, Spike TV's "Luckiest Bastard", is now out in the cold, a Yale Grad and an ex-boyfriend of Jessica Alba, I doubt he won't find another great girl to fill her shoes, but she will never be a JESSICA ALBA. US WEEKLY, also reports that Cash believes there is another man, but he doesn't know who the other man is.

MEDIAtakeout, takes a bold guess and says it is 50 CENT, the incredibly stupid and unattractive rapper, who can atleast claim that he does have some talent laying down rhymes as well as being around town with alot of other famous and beautiful ladies. I could name a list of women, but I would have to diverge from the more important story. Jessica Alba dating a rapper? Is she trying to pull a J.LO?? I would be really happy if I saw her everyday on MTV videos singing on some track and dancing, even if she was bumping and grinding to the ugliest rapper in the business. (Well he is second to Eminem, in my personal opinion.) I really like to see her dance, this relationship could pull her career to another level or pull it down. I know alot of people are surprised that she is a latina, many think that she is white, and for some reason it is seen as unacceptable for white women to date black men. Jessica Alba will have to push out the latina side to recover from that and be named America's Mexican Sweetheart as Jennifer Lopez is often mistitled.

Below is a clip of 50 CENT introducing Jessica Alba to an audience in Europe. Can you see chemistry between the two?

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Internet men's obsession over the Idea of Youth

Pedophiles scare me, but on the internet crawling across the forums, chat rooms, and websites are all sorts of people obsessed with "banging" the young stars. Until they turn 18, of course, then they declare them "monkey faces",



Or they decide they are sluts,



Or they decide their bodies aren't attractive enough.



I personally hope the fate is brighter for Hayden Patinerre.



Seeing her stand in her pajamas waiting for a ride reminds me of how innocent and young we all were, and absolutely disgusts me that there are countdowns to her 18th birthday. But for all those would-be predators or actual predators they are never satisfied by the birthday, they just want the idea of youth, fame, purity, and beauty but don't want the actualization of life in Los Angeles.

Source

Calvin Klein's New Underwear Ads

Sometimes Calvin Klein ads are seriously on point onto what is cool now in its complete simplicity and honesty. Patrick Demarchelier in 1992 took Kate Moss to a different level by capturing the intrigue of her beauty but also making a commentary of the new dilemma of Heroin on the streets of NYC. Peter Lindbergh, was able to capture another striking subject Djimon Hounsou, also capturing the unique beauty of his ebony tones and hard body, but at the same time his appearance in just briefs posing as though he is either on the run.

Or as though he just finished a hard day from work...
Each pose bringing to mind the turmoils all over Africa and economy forever shaken. Source 1, Source 2

My life sucks like a Poor Scientologist

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and hate my life completly. So I try to invade the personal lives of all celebrities, like the vindicative bully I am. I admit it, unlike the likes of Perez Hilton or any other celeb blogs.

So today, I'm going to blame Scientology for making Tom Cruise become a Nazi in one of his movies. Which seems pretty likely...Scientology has been known for attracting stars and forcing poorer less famous scientologist to do unwanted chores for the *cough* cult.



Fred Hare, a former leader within Scientology has said this, "Poor people did not deserve help. They were poor in this life because they committed overts and withholds in their past life. They deserved to be poor because they pulled poverty in on themselves because of their overt acts.

Rich people, on the other hand, had all their dynamics in order in their previous lives. Their ability to confront enabled them to be more able in their current lifetime."

Steve Fishman, a researcher of Scientology had this to say, "Scientology justifies its being a Church for the rich by using the overt-motivator sequence to condemn the poor because of a twisted logic that they deserve to be poor because they were previously bad, and the rich deserves to be rich because they were previously good."

It seems very convenient for Tom Cruise to be able to play a Nazi effectively, after all a rich Scientologist isn't much different.

Source 1, Source 2